NaPoWriMo Pokemon Edition: Poems 1-13
Poem 1: Pikachu
Pikachu is weak
Pikachu makes me tweak
This Pokemon is absolute junk
The only way I would use him is if I’m drunk.
The furry and over-hyped mouse needs to stop
Get out of here with a skip and a hop
Only then will I be happy
Pokemon will once again make me sappy
Take your static ability somewhere away from me
Go find a Beedrill nest and get stung by a bee
Leave your light ball on the floor.
And stick a thunderstone in the door
No more thunder in Super Smash Brothers
Leave your crime detective activities to others
Pikachu I do not choose you
Your very sight makes my throat corkscrew.
Poem 2: Chansey
Oh Chansey you pink blob.
You make special attackers kabob
With their failure to harm you
Including the mighty Mewtwo
Catching you in early games is difficult
You run away faster than a Jolteon using thunderbolt
Safari Balls in general are useless
They fail to compensate for your cuteness
Defeating you in later games is a painful process.
It takes removing evolite in speed chess.
Dealing with Seismic Toss.
And the fact that you take hits like a boss.
Psystrike, Psyshock and Physical attacks may pose a threat
But you still do your job well I bet
After all its been seven generations
And you still serve as one of the key foundations.
Poem 3: Metagross
Metagross weighs a ton
and low kick ruins your fun
As do dark and ghost types
Who can now defeat you with deadly snipes
But psudolegendary you are
Your existence helped set the bar
Bullet Punching your way to victory
Even though explosion’s nerf seems contradictory.
You can take on massive speed
Your mega form makes foes bleed.
The fact that you can crush fairies
Makes them spit up their berries
Like the supercomputer you are
You have adapted and became more bizarre
With new tools to play with
Your exploits will never fade into myth
Poem 4: Chandelure
Chandelure strikes fear into its foes.
It comes to claim their souls
By fire be purged
Let existence be scourged
Your special attack can rarely be matched
And a hidden ability that had to be patched
Ghost and Fire allow for countless deaths
Fire Blast marks your enemies final breaths
But those who take life can add more as well
Your flame body ability makes hatching eggs quite swell
You make breeding easy
Despite your name being cheesy
Your only flaw is a speed stat
You might be defeated right off the bat
But should your enemies let you stay alive
They will fail to survive
Poem 5: Jigglypuff
Jigglypuff sings a song.
And it puts listeners to sleep all day long
Even those in fighting games are not safe
Especially if they fail to strafe
You need no Moonstone
In battle you are an inferior Clefairy clone
Wigglytuff can wait
Sing others into a sleep induced fate.
You gained the fairy type
And with it a new archetype
Sadly, Clefairy also gained this ability
Adding to your combat futility
You do have one other advantage
A massive health pool to absorb some damage
But it is better to defeat than be crushed
Best to sing a song before you are hushed
Poem 6: Kingdra
Kingdra is a seahorse
Your Dragon Water typing gives you recourse
Only fairies and dragons can harm you
In the rain even they will get their due
Once you become a swift swimmer
The lives of your enemies grows dimmer
Outspeeding almost everything
You have earned your name of King
Your movepool leaves something to be desired
As a result, many teams see you fired
Your balanced stats don’t gain you favor
Even though you can be a lifesaver
But your existence made trainers fear Claire
And Lance added you to his team filled with rare
Dragons of all sizes deserve respect
Those who fail to comply will be wrecked.
Poem 7: Aeigislash
Aeigislash starts as a shield
And becomes a sword in the field
The mind games you can play
Once kept the meta-game at bay
Steel and Ghost are optimal typings
The hopes and dreams of many wrtings
Sadly Dark and Ghost pose a threat
By the nerf hammer you were beset
Shadow Sneak overcomes your low speed
Once played properly, your foes conceed
King’s Shield protects your frail form
All so you can prepare the next storm
Only a king may make use of your talents
Those you choose are truly gallants
Who have a monster on their hands
Your power is such that only a master understands
Poem 8: Excadril
Excadril has a balanced typing
Expected stats of slow and bulky thanks to steriotyping
But this is false
Thanks to sandstorm, your speed allows you to waltz
Steel Ground typing protects from status
Such that in gen 5 you had to take a hiatus
Such was your power and protection from poison
Immunity to thunder wave was why you were chosen
Stealth rock redefined the game
Possessing this ability of fame
You can also rapid spin
Removing this hazard and securing a win.
With weather wars over
You now utilize something leftover
Mold breaker to slaughter your foes
How you hit a floating target, nobody knows
Poem 9: Scyther
Scyther was the first relevant bug
With a face perpetually smug
Sword Dancing to victory
A small move-pool forced offense strictly
Despite your future evolution
Your own abilities provide a solution
Fury Cutter made you more famous
Even if Bugsy was an ignoramus
A reminder that Alakazam you are not
And that at first, only in Pokemon Red could you be caught
Metal Coat allows you to change
Scizor gives you a deadlier range
Technician changed your strategy
And effectively your anatomy
Using weak moves to win games
Just watch out for flames
Poem 10: Lucario
Psudolegendary Lucario is not
But your power becomes equal thanks to nasty plot
Or physical sets with close combat
You stomp your foes completely flat
Steel Fighting typing to protect
Poison attacks fail to connect
Psychic and Flying do not destroy
Though Fire, Ground, and Fighting do annoy
Mega Evolving took you to grander heights
Forced into the Ubers tier you reset your sights
Now you slay actual legendary threats
Using you on a team leaves no regrets
As popular as you are
Other Pokemon choose you as a target to spar
With Aura Sphere lighting the way
It will leave others forced to pray
Poem 11: Mimikyu
Mimikyu is better than Pikachu silly
No seriously you are much more viable really
With a fantastic typing and a better ability
It gives you surprising durability
Ghost and Fairy are only resisted by few
And since none of those foes matter I am sure you can make due
Shadow Sneaking your way to victory
Psychic Terrain won’t even stop you strictly
Under the disguise you might be scary
But after all you are a fairy
Not mean to be properly understood
Just completely sneaky in all likelihood
Dragons scream in fear
Your attacks leave them as nothing but a smear
Whatever your goal and endeavor
Let’s snuggle forever
Poem 12: Machamp
Four arms indicate Machamp’s strength
You keep your foes at a healthy length
With No Gaurd failing to keep them safe
From your Dynamicpunch they cannot strafe
Once upon a time, your move-pool was awful
The way you were treated was unlawful
With Psychic types running rampant
You have stood steadfast and gallant
In later generations, fighting attacks became king
Many foes cannot stand up to the attacks you fling
Even burning you will not work
Your attacks is raised thanks to Gut’s weird quirk
Though Conkledurr may outclass you now
You must be honored as the original, but how
No need for Mach Punch
Not when you can still apply the hurt a bunch
Poem 13: Shedinja
Shedinja is a one hit point wonder
One should be careful and avoid blunder
Wondergaurd is a blessing
Your very existence leaves enemies guessing.
Beware of entry hazards or unique one
A single mistake can leave you undone
But the mighty Kyogre fears you
You simply need to appear with a boo
Many deadly Pokemon cannot cause harm
Your immunities can be used to disarm
Only Ghost, Rock, Dark, and Flying can hurt
Though one must also avoid entry hazards hidden in dirt
You must also fear weather
A deadly sandstorm can send you to the nether
A swarm of hail that falls
Will send you to the Ghostly Halls