Why I turned my Back on God

Admin/ July 17, 2017/ Rants

Anyone who knows me well understands that I am apologetically Jewish, even the name of this entire blog should tell a stranger this truth.  However, the more and more I understand the Torah, and other related texts, the less I trust the one who created it, and by proxy, created me.

Perhaps it is through my love of Cosmic Horror and other related media that I began to think long and hard about where I stand on my religious faith.  But there are many aspects that helped me come to the conclusions I now have.  More importantly, these aspects are what helped me find the group of words that really describe my belief system.

Three words are important to my viewpoints on faith.  Those words are: Misotheism, Dystheism, and Maltheism.

Misotheism is the hatred of God.  It was more common in the Greek, Roman, Egyptian, and especially Norse cultures where many individuals saw the Gods of their pantheons are childish and not worthy of worship.

Dystheism is the belief that God or Gods are not good.  Whether this means indifferent or outright against humanity is up for the interpretation of each individual.  While this belief system was also common with the groups outlined above, more recently, many Agnostic, Deist, and most notably Jewish individuals have started looking at this ideology for answers.  

Maltheism is the belief that God or Gods are wicked and dangerous.  That the ultimate enemy of mankind is our creator(s).  This ideology of the three makes the most sense to me, especially given the famous philosophical “Problem of Evil” which goes as follows:

Tragedies such as the Holocaust have taken well to do people of faith and transformed them into cynics who wonder why God would allow such travesties to occur.  The most common answers tend to be one of the following from a person of faith:

1. It is all part of Gods plan
2. The people who died were needed with him more

I no longer accept either these answers and anything more but extreme denial to the highest degree. 



Cosmic Horror is defined as being a realm where the God or Gods are so alien to human ideas that trying to quantify them is not only pointless but capable of inducing insanity.  Looking at stories within biblical texts, every person who was (un) fortunate to come into contact with God was either blinded, burned alive, or had their mind distorted in some horrific way.  The angels too according to these same texts look like something out of an H. P. Lovecraft book.  With heads coming out of their eyes these creatures assault our thoughts as multi winged menaces that take on the appearances of the beings of our darkest nightmares.  Both of these descriptions would be right at home within the Cosmic Horror Genre.  But the final aspect of this type of literature is the overwhelming hopelessness of the situation.  I am getting to that soon enough.

One major story that really helped me quantify my religious beliefs was the Anime Berserk.  The God of this universe is the spiritual manifestation of evil itself.  Its servants known as the Angelic Godhand, are five incredibly powerful, reality warping Arch Demons who control causality to ensure that Humanity evolves down the paths that they desire.

I applied this same idea to the Abrahamic God. Assuming that this God is near omnimalevolent if not fully, every single advancement of Humanity, every scientific discovery was and is nothing more than a trick to keep us under its control.  Keeping in mind all of what I have stated, lets look at a timeline that really showcases the manipulations of this being.

Going back to the Greeks, it must be noted that the concept of Misotheism was becoming more and more popular.  Perhaps humanity was finally realizing that they were being manipulated.  The Abrahamic God came to the rescue there.  I am moving forward with the assumption that indeed, the Abrahamic God is not truly a God at all, but an incredibly powerful Demon. Perhaps this being is strong enough to bring the entire universe into being, perhaps not. Regardless, it made a pact with the Hebrews and thus enslaved them to its will.  But they were few in number and could not serve the purpose that this Demon wished.  Why to spread misery and despair of course.

This was easy to accomplish by using the human ego that this being had given us in the first place.  Ya know, causality and all.  By telling the Jews that they (we since I am one) are the chosen people, it made it easy to manipulate these individuals into killing and enslaving their neighbors in the name of God.  Under the guise of destroying idolatry, God tricked the Jewish people into being enslaved by the Egyptians with the express purpose of spreading despair through that kingdom via the 10 plagues of Egypt.  Afterwards, the Israelis retook Canaan which is now called Israel, Jordan, Lebanon, and Syria.  The amount of despair was a source of nourishment for the Demon God controlling this group.

But the Jews started to slow down and were not causing enough despair.  A new religion was needed to accomplish what they Jews could not.  So a man named Jesus was selected as a sacrificial lamb.  With the Demon God coming into his dreams until he was driven insane the not so divine above tricked the Romans into killing him.  A new religion was rallied around this man with blood lust in the hearts of the believers.  Christianity was born, and for many years, fulfilled the quota of despair.

But Christianity was not spreading fast enough, and the Jews had not been wiped out.  Realizing that a third religion  fighting in a three way war with the others as well as the rest of the world would serve as the perfect catalyst for energy.  Thus Mohamed, the prophet, driven mad by God the very same way Jesus was, created a third religion.  Islam.  At this stage, God then told all three faiths that they were the chosen ones, and so a war of control which exists to this very day began.  Despair filled the world, and our souls and the negative energy they give became an all you can eat buffet. 

Unfortunately, secularism started to make all three religions far more moderate.  The killings started to stop, and hope began appearing in the world.  God does not want this.  He wants us as nothing more than food.  But he also knows that driving us to suicide removes a source of food.  An investment of sorts.  So tragedy after tragedy, the most recent ones being Terrorism and the renewed rise of far right Fasicm have once again given God the food he so needs.

As God is the enemy of mankind, I have turned my back on him, and if not for the fact that we are living in a Cosmic Horror Story, I would hope that one day he would be vanquished and Humanity free of God forever.  But this being is unfathomably powerful and cunning.  He has powerful Cults in the forms of the Charedim, The Evangelicals (notably Quiverfulls) and Islamists to ensure that peace will never exist on earth.

Beware what prayers you offer to God above as your connection with it has a chance of leaving you mind raped and disoriented.  Prayer feels good for the same reason having  an addiction to a powerful drug does.  If it did not, we would avoid it.  The Demon controlling our entire existence will not allow it.  The only chance our species has at escape is to against our very programming.  Lest we doom ourselves to even worse fates in the future.