Tin Foil Hat Monday: Austria Is Cursed
Constantly people like to make jokes about France and the countries’ inability to win wars. This is not even true in modern day, but I have never understood why France is the target of such labels, especially when there is such a country that is an absolute failure at winning wars.
And that country is Austria. Notice though that this title does not just limit itself to war. Austria being cursed is this weeks conspiracy theory. Whether you believe in a higher power of some form or not, its hard to deny that something in our universe seems to be conspiring against this country.
Lets take a look. Going way way way back in history, Napoleon needed to consolidate some power. What did he do? Why he attacked Austria of course. Beat the country so senseless that it forced the rest of Europe to jump in to stop him before he conquered half the continent.
Soon afterwards, Italy wanted to be a free country, so they tricked Austria into fighting them in a war. Quickly, Italy was a country of its own and Austria was once again defeated.
Even sooner afterwards, Prussia wanted to be a free country, so they tricked Austria into fighting them in a war. Quickly, Prussia was a country of its own and Austria was once again defeated.
World War I happened and somehow once Prussia became Germany, they had gotten much closer ties to Austria, but as we all know, that was the losing side of World War I.
Not learning from any of the past mistakes, Austria once again joined forces with Germany in World War II, and once again, they lost a war. They also had the unfortunate implications of being the birthplace of the man who started the war and whose name has become synonymous with evil.
So whatever the future holds for this poor country, that seems to have powerful beings invested in its doom, it should probably stay out of wars, possibly forever at this point.