Scars
I awaken, covered in sweat.
I close my eyes and the screaming returns.
Some scars are buried deep.
Some hidden so far down that it requires unconsciousness to bring them to the surface.
I open my eyes again and the fear is gone
But the memories remain, floating at the top.
The scars burn as mental blood flows.
And I seek anything to make the agony fade.
I once was naive.
Letting my tongue flow freely.
My opinions mattered back then.
Or so I thought.
I went out of my way to help friends.
And entrusted everything in my family.
Organizations became my lifeblood.
And justice became my purpose.
But justice can be misguided.
Organizations can be used for ill will
Families can turn on you.
Friends can betray, with silver laced daggers.
I understood nothing.
My opinions became weapons
My voice became a noose
And my innocence the executioner.
Bullying takes on a new form.
Its unlike anything children were raised to deal with.
Ignoring the attackers gives them power.
Reacting to it weakens you.
These attacks test more than resolve
They test the faith of friends.
The loyalty of family.
And bring in powerful entities.
I survived my ordeal
But I fear for my words.
For they can always be utilized again
By those who mean me harm.
Now, I memorize every conversation
And every odd topic
In case I am assaulted again.
And hounded by the authorities for crimes I did not commit.
The sweat fades.
The day makes the nightmares vanish,
But darkness is only twelve hours away
And fear is everlasting.