A Hearty Thank You to my Birthright Group
I know some of what is contained here is a repeat of what I told you guys at the end of the trip, but I wanted to immortalize how I felt in the infinite vastness known as the internet.
I went on birthright very much afraid of how things might play out. Being that I have Aspergers which until recently was considered a form of Autism (apparently its a unique condition now) I was afraid of being in a place with people I had never met before all alone. I had no allies as far as I knew. I was completely and utterly alone. There had been times in my life where being in this situation had gotten me physically and mentally abused. I really was putting myself on a limb on this trip.
Also although this seems like a silly thing to worry about, when I had tried going on the 18 to 21 year old trips, I was also worried about the rampant amount of hookups that would occur on the trip. I had no interest in being pressured into random hookups. In fact after having a very crummy experience with dating, I had devoted a great portion of the last couple years of my life to better myself instead of focusing on this other aspect. My hard work would have potentially come crashing down.
Instead, I took a series of risks and talked to everyone through the first couple of days. I seemed to have succeeded in making everyone think I was this loud mouthed extrovert while in reality, I was shaking in fear the whole time on the inside.
But instead of pushing everyone away, instead I managed to make some truly remarkable friendships, and spent an entire 10 days with some of the most exceptional Jews I have ever known. Each and every one of you far and beyond exceeded my expectations by far.
Which is why when I had my lovely outburst when we had the Holocaust Discussion, I had feared that I had pissed all over those friendships. I had grown complacent and in my calmness, let my opinions run wild when it was out of place.
Still rather than my fears coming true, I managed to not even push any of you away at all. I even gained the respect of a few of those of you who I feel will become some of my closest friends.
It means a lot to any individual on the Autistic Spectrum to be able to act as themselves around others and not be shoved out into the cold. Thank you so much to all of you, for making me feel included, loved, and that it is acceptable to be the way I am.
I love you all 🙂
PS: Ori was right, after drinking Goldstar, Heineken is crap by comparison